toliet paper

I don't know about most people but I'm kinda picky about toliet paper. The kind of toliet paper I buy to how the roll goes one the roller. First it has to be that when you pull the paper it rolls over the top and down.......any other way and I have to change it. I absolutely hate it when it falls down the back and you have to keep spinning the roll to get ahold of the end. Then I like soft paper not that crappy paper most public places use in their restrooms.......not only is that paper stiff and crispy but seems like it is always 1 ply paper. One ply paper is just asking for trouble......yes, first you have to pull a wad as big as a softball to get the coverage you need when your taking care of business, then you have to worry about slippage or tear thru. If you don't have a big enough wad you don't want a finger tearing thru at any point in the process. Another thing about that thin, crappy paper when those public restrooms clean and put new rolls in, they are so tight in the roller when you pull the sheet they tear of one sheet at a time........or just the corner and you have to hold on to it, trying to unroll with the other hand!!!!! Then you gotta love the brand new roll that the start end is glued down and you have to tear thru the first 6 layers to get it started. You tell me these things have not happened to you at some point in your business trips to the restroom??

the sock

if it is stupid it will happen to me....I'm in meeting for work in Indy, we need to dress business casual....to me business casual is nice dark jeans and nice top. Getting dressed for my meeting today I decided to wear this sweater type top that is all in one like a tank and sweater. Looks nice and dressy. Got dressed and ran out the door for my 40 minute drive to Indy....traffic sucked but got there only about 5 minute late. Sitting in the meeting, taking part and being active....they have food, I got some fruit and a blueberry muffin (yummo) and then sat around a little more, than woohoo a break because I gotta pee. Run to the restroom, undo my pants, lift my shirt and I hear a plop on the floor.....there on the floor is one of my white socks...I look around...where the hell did that come from...looking at my feet....shoes and socks still on my feet...so the only place it could have come from is my shirt....what the hell, the shirt has been in my closet for months and months that sock hung in there....I put that shirt on, left for my meeting, walked into the Loon Lake Lodge, sat at the table, went to the breakfast table for my muffin and that sock hung in there.....hopefully it didn't hang out the back like a tail. Guess the sock just couldn't hang on anymore because when I went to pee that was it....maybe it was toliet-phobic and jumped before it would fall in the toliet. You know all that swishing and swirling....it would be like a water ride. So this afternoon I will ponder what my other clothes are hiding and if I need to check everything I put on before I leave my home....but for now I'm still shaking my head asking the ultimate question....why does this kind of stupid stuff happen to me??

Size does matter

While driving down the road there was a commercial on the radio "does size matter??" All I could say after what I have been thru "FUCK YA!!! Size matters!!!!". I have been the with the Itty Bitty dickoies and when it won't reach to give me a ride than what's the point. They say its not the size but how the man uses it!! Ha that's bullshit too!! Had a long skinny dick and all that did was hit bottom and hurt.that must be where the term pencil dick came from. So what would be a good size..... Bigger than my thumb and more girth than a freakin pencil but beyond that I'm not so sure but I do know size matters.....I always think at least once I would like to hook up with someone and see the man tool and say "OMG what am I supposed to do with that" and have a fun time making it work, fit and trying it out,,,,,,and not the because its a ITTY BITTY!!!!.

customer service my style

I just had a passing thought......my profile if you read it says I work for a big grocery store chain amd yes this is true.....they preach, encourage, insist, push customer service. Now dont get me wrong when I go to a store I want good customer service, be treated nicely by reasonably smart customer service people. Now I feel like I am a very smart customer service person and I have to say as a general rule my staff is the same............but where in god's name do all these stupid, unreasonable, greedy down right crazy people come from that think I as a customer service person has to kiss their ass?????? I guess it is a good thing that I don't get to say all the things that go thru my mind when I see some of these people or smell these people or listen to and hear these people talk or having to deal with their craziness. Just looking at some of these customer I wish we could give away hotel size bars of soap, shampoo, toothbrushes and toothpaste. I understand about not having a lot of money but at least bath and keep clean. Wash your hands, face, hair and clothes........and combs and brushes go a long way not to mention the use of scissors to cut the rats nests out of their hair. Then OMG they must have dirty mirrors or no mirrors because the clothes they wear............even plain jeans and a shirt would look better then the rolls, muffin tops, sagging boobs, and wide load asses they squeeze into clothes that are spagehetti strap, tank tops, tube top, stretch pants, shorty shorts, low hung jeans and all around skank wear they bought in sizes 3 times too small!!! I haven't mentioned the hairdos, makeup, and shoes. It is unreal how these people dress on a daily bases. How can they stand to smell themselves......imagine how thei home must smell......ewwwwww yuck.
Men wearing womens clothes and wigs because they are drag queens, girls that dress like dudes, which wouldn't be such a big deal but they all dress like either ICP or hip hop gangster. Have I mentioned tatoos?? I love tats, have a few myself, will probably get more but today was a topper.........this girl shaved her eyebrows and had stars tatooed in a arch for eyebrows. I was like WTF.......I know she would be on the top of my to hire list!!! I just dont understand that some people get tats that are so freakin ugly.......I just want to ask "did you pay money to have that done??? I hope not, cuz if you did you need a refund." Then there are the customer that just absolutely drive me over the edge.......do they think I'm stupid.........if some of these people spent as much time on honest work that they do to figure out how to scam the store they would probably have plenty of money. I've had customer make me so mad I have done the "fuck you dance" to walking away and slamming the office door......and I have said things before I shouldn't have but there comes a time where all bets are off. So people are so freakin rude like I owe them the world and everything in it but I don't how much or how little you have I don't owe you anything........I work hard to take care and support myself........I live by you treat me kindly and nice I will be the same to you.......I will even start it and be nice first but don't give me your shit and adittude cuz bitch all bets are off and the shit is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laundry

Laundry, dishes and trash........they never end and there's always more.......today I broke down and had to do my laundry, I have been putting it off since last Thursday. I went last week to the laundry mat on 8th street because I had several blankets to wash. I really like this laundry mat because it nice, new, clean, and they work at keeping it that way. The only problem is there is this guy that works there and he is too nice. I know your going what the **** ???? TOO NICE???? yes he is too nice. Last time I was there he helped carry out my basket full of laundry to my truck. Not used to that, I'm used to doing for myself and if I need help I will ask.
Ok so after the last time I thought ok he was just being nice and he did help other people out with their laundry too. That was all fine but today when I went to do my laundry at the same place he was there again.........this time he came out to my truck to help take the laundry in.........I just as soon take my own dirty clothes in.........but he was like no here let me get it for you.......is he gonna smell my dirty clothes, more specifically my dirty panties?? My dirty bras that have boob sweat on them. Then I thought OMG what does boob sweat smell like.........I know what dirty panties smells like.........and other dirty laundry.........so was that the deal with this guy to smell everyones dirty laundry??? Why else would he want to carry dirty laundry in........ oh yeah he's being nice. Guess that is just what it is.

The Wash out

One day at work we were talking about men and what we liked in a man. Everyone has that special thing or couple things that turns them on.......I like big stature men, shaved bald heads, and oh I don't know sometimes things just have to click. So anyway one of my work friends decides she is going to introduce me to a past co-work of hers (and friend). She thinks I will like him because he has a shaved bald head, which was fine but we just didn't have that click. We called each other a few times and talked even went to Bdubs for a drink and chatted. Now that was interesting because you know it is a small world........years ago he was living with his baby mama and her other son from another man. Her son was in the same class, school and was friends with my younger son. So while we talked it was like remembering and catching up with some of the people we knew from when the boys were in elementary school. It was kinda nice to have that in common but was kinda weird. First I didn't like his son's mama, the son was a pretty nice kid but situation was strange to me at the time. Mr Washout and I were supposed to go out to dinner.......he was supposed to call me when he got home from work and then we would go, well I never heard from him (yeah guess I got stood up) and so we didn't have dinner.........about a month later I ran into him at my work and he apologize profusely because he got home, took a nap and didn't wake up until really late. You know I don't really have a problem with that but the next day call and say hey I was wiped out from work, zonked out and didn't wake up till late.......that's fine ......whatever but like i said things just didn't click so I was ready to move on, and honestly was glad to move on. Now with all that said--- because I went to Bdubs to have a drink with Mr Wash out the next crazy thing happened to me............

Landscape

My friend told me he did some manscaping so of course my mind wonders about things....like what exactly and how much manscaping....I mean I know what he's talking about but how much?? Just trimming the short and curlies or buzzin the bush down to like a G.I.'s buzzcut when he joins the army?? Or getting out the razor and giving it up to the boyhood days of no hair?? Now I don't know about other women but for myself I like the ladyscaping....used to do the "landing strip" but I could never keep it in a nice strip and then when you would keep the landing strip those hairs would grow long and get curly then that was kinda strange too. So than every so often I would have to trim the curlies back....that's just too much trouble...I finally decided to go "Bald Eagle"....just lather up just like when I do my legs and swipe, swipe, and its done. Just feels cleaner,think it smells cleaner too...not to mention about that special visit from Aunt Martha. Only thing is if I'm bald eagle and Mr Funtime is reliving his boyhood...that's no fun becausehis junk just sticks too much to my cushion for the pushin instead of getting a good slid and glide going. Manscaping or Ladyscaping....would you let someone else to it to you or is that a job you rather handle personally?? Wow that's an interesting question.....what would I do??