distressing day

I had a bit of a distressing day.  I woke up with pain in my chest today, on the left side above my breast.  After I woke up and noticed the pain I relaxed on the couch to see if it would go away.  When it didn't it go away  it started to worry me.  I took a shower hoping that would make me feel better but that didn't help either.
So after making a couple of phone calls I decided to go to the ER.  At this point I don't know if some of my problem was myself being in a panic.  Anyway I go, get admitted, they take me back and start all these tests and monitors on me.  Everything came back ok....EKG, chest x-ray, blood work.  The pain was due to chest wall irrations and stress.  Good thing I wasn't having a heart attack, but I sure felt stupid by the time I got to go home.  I got stuck 3 times for IV, blood draw and the blood pressure cuff  hurt like a son of a bitch.  I finally took it off my arm because I was tired of it pinching my arm. 

As distressing as all that was, while asking 20 questions about your medical history the one ER person says, "would you like to call your husband?"

"No I'm divorced"

"would you like to call your boyfriend?"

"No don't have one of those either"

After that I thinking...... how pathetic I am because I don't have a man in my life, or anyone other than my parents that would worry about me and be upset that I was at the ER.  Well my sons would be but one is in Indianapolis and can't drive, the other is in Lafayette over an hour away.  I wouldn't let them call my parents because I didn't want to upset them if it wasn't anything major. 

So do the hospital staff assume that every women has a husband or boyfriend ?  Or did I look like I needed to have one?  I don't know but I know I don't need a keeper.......I drove myself to the ER for heaven sake.
Anyway as stupid as I felt, I also got to feel like a loner for not having anyone to come sit with me.

Fat or Phat?

I took Uncle Jam home......I was pretty blunt with him, more so than anyone else.  Not that I hide things but I was just flat out blunt.......told him he was going home with me to fuck.......he had to wear a rubber.  Now he was a different one.....the whole situation was kind of odd.  First off he wasn't much of a kisser.  I like to kiss and not all men can kiss or I should kiss good.  I mean Uncle Jam kissed me maybe twice and he wasn't a overly good kisser.  The next thing that was sort of odd was that usually when you hook up with a man they want to start undressing you, at least till they get to see and feel the ta-tas.  With Uncle Jam it was undressed and then in the bed.  I do have to say he was a nice toucher......knew how to touch the right places.  The touch was enough t get me going so what the heck bring it on.  Uncle Jam wasn't overy large in the manhod department, average and I can deal with average.  It's the itty bitty I done with!  Now I have to say this for Uncle Jam the ool was bent, yeah have a curve to it.  When I seen that I thought oh great how's this gonna work out, but I have to admit it turned out pretty good because that curved to hit just in the right spot!!!
When I bring someone home the first time and he can make me cum two times......he did good!!
He must have enjoyed what I had to give also because when he was done he says to me, "you have a fat pussy"  and I'm like excuse me???   I have a what???  He says no that's good.....not fat but "PHAT"  like sweet.  Now I have heard of a lot of things but "PHAT Pussy" is not one of them.  Oh well that's ok but I was glad he enjoyed me as much as i enjoyed him.  Next time I just rather a man say I have a sweet pussy instead of a PHAT pussy.!!!!

mismatched

Friday night....I met up with some friends and we went out for some drinks. You know usually Friday nights at the Ramada is pretty busy, but not this Friday night. Really was down right boring...guess the rain put a damper on things. The friends I was drinking with decided to go to another bar and I just wasn't up for it. First of this place is a little rough, they make crappy drinks, and the state cop are noturious for pulling people over around this area. So I just stay away from there if I have been drinking, which tonight I was feeling no pain. So anyway I leave the Ramada, decide to stop at Gas America for some bottled water and I had to pee. Go to the bathroom to take care of business, wash my hands when the deed is done....look in the mirror at my new haircut which I don't like and low-n-behold I have on mismatched earrings. I don't go out in mismatched earrings...not only are they mismatched, they are two different size hoops, one is silver and one is gold. WTF I did not drink any liquor while getting ready or anytime before getting to the bar. Not only that all the people I know and call friends didn't notice or they didn't tell me. Wonder which one it was. But I need to really stress here I do not go out mismatched in any way shape or form!!!

Uncle Jam

Hey call me crazy but I liked Uncle Jamicia, so I took him home.  Now I definetly have a couple blogs about uncle because I need to spilit it up.  This was interesting and strange for me and really brought some questions up in my mind ofr me and about myself.  This blog I took him home with me.........that was kind of odd in of itself because I didn't go out with the idea of looking for someone.  I actually really like someone else but he won't give me the time of day for the most part that I don't know why I don't just forget him and move on.  I would like to be something with him but not sure what (definitely not a hubby) but friend, friend with benefits.........something.  But big draw back he kind of flirts sometimes, knows me, is nice to me but we can't seem to get past that. I know his best friend but I just don't want to ask a bunch of question and then something bad happens.  I just don't have the courage to be the one to start things becasue the last two times I did that it kind of pretty much back fired on me........so anyway back to uncle jam......I was surprised with myself that I took him home because I had decided I wasn't gonna mess with any men for a while because they just aren't worth the trouble.  I hadn't messed with anyone for several months, that was ok with me since I know how to take care of my own issues. (if you know what I mean)   While talking to Uncle Jam the question always comes up, "where's your man?"   Always answer the same don't have one, don't need one.  Then I tell them right up front I don't have much luck with men they either have little dicks or want to sponge off of me and I don't need that either.  Then the next thing they want to know is what is a little dick??  That's when I get to laugh and I hold up my thumb..........they look at me like are you serious and that I'm joking.  Nope not joking so you see why I'm over it. They always look at me and say all these sweet things, they can't figure out why some man hasn't snatched me up for themself and usually say so.  First off when they are sweet talking me they know I don't believe that crap because I'm not beautiful and usually tell them so.  Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder because I don't see it.   So while talking to Uncle Jam I was trying to decide if I wanted to do the jamician mambo with him........finally thought what the hell, haven't had any for quiet a while and I'm not gonna get what I was kind of holding out for so might as well have some action.  So we went home to do the mambo!!!!!

Panty Raid next issue!!

Alright I know this is gonna be stupid and silly but I just have to throw this out there..................you know in panty raid I talked about my dog liking my dirty panties and chewing them up.  The other night I went out for the night........my Thursday at Shouts........usually wear black bra and black panties.  Dressed like I always do at least as far as the underwear part.  I am at Shout for a while.......had a pitcher of long island, it was time for a potty run.  Get to the restroom, pull down my underwear and here again..........WTF........my panties have a hole the size of a fifty cent piece chewed out of the crotch........thank to  my dog.  After I get done thinking that damn dog, I need to not let her anywhere near my dirty clothes it kind of clicks with me why didn't I notice it when I put them on.  Ok I can kind of understand not seeing it when I put them on because I have to hurry putting on my underwear or the dog thinks we are going to play tug-of-war with them.  I'm jamming my feet in the leg holes pulling them up as fast as I can but why don't those outer hoochie lips feel the bare spot.........no breeze blowing thru, no cold spot, no hole-radar, nothing just bam there's the holey panties.   You know you feel it when you touch the hoochie-coochie........you know when someone else touches, you feel it when your panties get wet or damp, even when Aunt Mary visits and you don't have her bed ready.....................so why not a hole.  Now mind you this has happened to me twice, so this is a legit question.   So if you read this you need to let someone chew a hole in you panties and see if you feel it when you put them on..................and let me know!!

Tag Team me????

Last night I was out, having a drink......my basic kick back, have a drink, listen to the music and relaxing.  Like any other time I was at the bar minding my own business this guy came up to me and ask me if I was alone.  Well yes....he knew that because he and another man sat on the other side of the bar from me.....seen me sitting alone.  Turns out the other guy is his uncle.   He ask me if I would come sit with them and talk to them.........sure why not, this could be interesting.  Yes I went over sat between.  They were both originally from Jamicia.  When I first ask the uncle where are you from he says Ohio.  I looked a him funny and said that don't sound like a Ohio accent......he just kind of laughs and says I live in Ohio but grew up and I'm from Jamicia.  Ok that settled we just start the basic shooting the shit stuff.  Of course seems like they all say the same thing about my eyes, my smile and my lips.  Oh but this one says he like my booty!!!!......and I'm like are you kidding me?......not the boobs but the ass.  Hmmmm what's this ones line now.  But while I'm talking to the uncle, nephew on the other side keeps throwing little things out there.  Finally nephew asks me if I have ever been with 2 Jamicians..........hell I never been with one.........then nephew starts telling me the eyes and lips story like most men and that he wants to kiss me.  About this time I'm looking back and forth between the two..........and finally ask them what's the deal you two trying to tag team me or what???  Nephew just gives me a look like huh what are you talking about so I ask Uncle.........he don't know what tag teaming is.  So I enlighten him........now he's pissed because he realizes nephew has been hiting on me from oe side while he's trying to get friendly on the other........and me??? I'm sitting there thinking HELLO!!! do you think I'm stupid!!!   Nw don't get me wrong I would mind trying that sometime but I haven't came across two men that interest me enough to let them have at me both at the same time.  Anyway I give them both a look and uncle starts in on nephew in Jamician (which I don't understand) so I can only assume uncle was telling nephew to back off because next thing I knew nephew was walking away.  I guess they understood I didn't feel like being tag teamed and really didn't appericate being worked by two.  Maybe that is something I need to consider down the road.............

teenager vs adult

I have been thinking for the last several days that I would really like to find someone to be with on a more regular bases. Not necessaily to marry or anything like that but someone to go out with...dinner, movie, shopping,mini roadtrip,fair, festivals,concert or even to hang out with at home to watch movies fix dinner things like that. I don't need or mean for either of us to be up each others butt 24-7. And yes someone to have sex with but I have this war inside of me that I have those moments like when I was a teenager and feel desperate for someone to love me. Like I never will find anyone....the old maid syndrome. I hate that feeling and in my adult mature grown up mind I know that isn't true and even know that the old maid thing is bullshit. Even in all honesty I'm not desparate by any means just in that moment of wishing for someone it kind of kicks in. As a adult I know it is not that big of a deal to be alone because I do have friends but its those time when I want to go to the movies and don't have anyone or things like that when the teenager stuff kicks in. In all I like my space and my time to myself but then do miss the campionship of someone to be there too. Maybe some of it is my own fault....am I too picky? I don't want someone that is going to take advantage of me and yes my kindness....I'm no ones free ride and I don't want a free ride from a man either. Not to mention looks....like I have room to talk but it is what it is....so the question is what do I want and.....be a adult or a teenager?? LoL at least in the feelings department!!

Panty Raid

What is with dogs and underwear??  I have a girl puppy almost 6 months old......she is great.  I love her to pieces and she has made me so happy.  Always happy when I get home, always happy to be around me, snuggles up with me, entertains me, makes me laugh and just all around fun.  So I have just one issue with her.......she loves my underwear......she chews and licks the crotch of my dirty underwear.  I have to make sure I put them away when I take them off.  She likes girl dirty underwear......does that make her a lesbian dog or just a freaky dog??  She likes boob sweat too but she don't get to lick boobs because it is just too weird, but she'd do it if I would let her.  So the other evening right before I went to bed I put on clean underwear, turned the lights out and went to bed.  I woke up about 5:30 am, had to go to the bathroom.  Sat on the toilet and seen the crotch of my underwear with a hole about the size of a 50 cent piece.  WTF........Apparently she got into my dirty underwear and chewed the crotch until there was a hole in then......must have happened when I had my laundry by the door to go to the laundry mat.  I took a nap and when I got up she had several piece if my laundry scattered around the room.  Hell I just picked them all up threw it back in the basket not thinking anything of it.  So now I have to make sure she stays out of my dirty clothes!!

Come here just don't mean what it used to!!!!

Had to be at work this morning, i needed a shower.  Put my puppy...Roxie on her run, opened the sliding glass door a few inches so she could go outside to potty and some resh air.  With the door open she could also come in if she got cold.  I took my shower came out to check on her, she was sitting a couple of feet from her water bowl so I thought she couldn't reach it.  When I looked at her she had that look on her face like  "uh oh I'm in trouble now".  I looked at her and wondered what she had gotten into.  I din't see anything, decided to take her off the leash, put the leash back outside, and close the sliding glass door.  The absolute second I unhooked her from her leash, Rox shot up and out the sliding glass door...at first for a second I was like WTF but then I ran after her yelling for her to come here.  Out in the yard was the mower man on the lawn mower and she being the big (7#) bad ass dog was out there barking and raising hell with the mower guy.  I'm standing at my sliding glass door yelling at her to come here and she don't even turn around to look at me she is gonna get the big bad mower.  Even though I only had a towel wrapped around me, I step out onto my porch in said towels trying to get this crazy bitch dog to come back but she isn't listening.  I come back in and see the blanket on the couch grab it and throw it around my shoulders and out the door I go trying to get my dog........she's still barking and carrying on.  While this is going on the mower guy shuts off the mower and it trying to shoo Roxie back.  With Roxie still not listening to me I go back into the house and grab the flyswater......I call it the smacker.  So back out in the yard I go, towel aound me (hair in a towel) blanket around my shoulders with the smacker to get my crazy dog........once I get closer to her, she thinks I playing and starts running circles around me.  First one direction and then the other....back and forth ......and me yelling at her "you little bitch"  Afterwards in all that twirling back and forth chasing the dog I don't know if the mower guy got a free show of me under the towel and blanket (but thank goodness I shave the cooch!!)  Anyway I chased Rox around for what felt like forever, she decided she was going around the side of the apartment building and I sure as hell wasn't chasing her that way in a towel and a blanket so I stomped back into my apartment to put on some clothes.  Throwing on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt, I went after her again.  In the time I put some clothes on the mower guy got off his mower and she wanted to visit him.......I come out and she's on her back so mower guy can rub her belly.  He grabs her, picks her up as I stomp over to him.....the whole time grumbling that I'm gonna beat her ass.  I looked the mower guy in the eye, pointed my finger at him and said, " you don't say a word about what happened or what you seen.  It didn't happen and you didn't see anything." He said he wouldn't say anything but I'm so pissed  at Roxie that I didn't notice if he was laughing but I'm sure he was on the inside and I know he's gonna tell his buddies about the crazy woman and her dog......and by the way I beat her ass with the smacker all the way back into the apartment!!!!

question of the day!!

I will honestly say I don't know where is came from but  for some reason I understood what it meant soon as it was said......."can you flip a cashew off your hog?"  We always get into these strange, funny, improper and downright bazierre conversations at work and that was the question that came up.  "Can you flip a cashew off your hog?"  When the question first came up, the person had no clue what it meant, and like I said I never heard of it before but understood soon as it was said.  We ask a few other people and some knew and some didn't.......there as a reference to something about Dane Cook.  Now I don't watch Dane Cook so I don't how this question has a reference with Dane Cook.  I just think it's funny how some people knew what it meant or made reference too and others didn't.  So what does that make me??  I don't even have a idea where to start with that one.  So I have another question........if  a man can flip a cashew off the hog what can| women do??   Now I been thinking about this one for a while and I know what to do with a cashew, and what to do with the hog......does that count?  So the question of the day is..........what do women do??

Nightmare or what?

Last night I dreamed about my ex...I dreamed that I told him I would take him back if he promised to change, that I missed him and still loved him!! Cough, choke, spit, gage snarl,and a few other obscence noises that dream is never gonna happen and that was more of a nightmare then anything!! I don't miss him, don't miss much from being married but I can honestly say there is a little I do miss......like...regular sex would be the big thing but also someone to eat dinner with, someone to just shoot the shit with, someone to watch tv with, or to aggravate, goof with, cry on,and the companionship but honestly I didn't get a lot of that from my ex so I have missed and craved someone for all those things for a long time. I just wonder if I will ever find someone to have those simple things with...guess time will tell and only god knows if I will and when!!

Do dreams come true?

I was just going to bed and when I get under the covers, get myself situated. I usually think about things as I get ready to go to sleep....like dreams, fantasies or maybe just things I would like to do and even things I need to do. I don't know if you can necessaily call them dreams but sometimes I think about special things I wish would happen.....do these ever come true?? I have to say for the most part they don't because I have thought about a certain man enough that he should be getting telepathic sex shockwaves every night or vacation that I should have sand in my bed under the sheets by now. You know they say there is power in the mind but either my mind and me thinking the things I do have a disconnect somewhere along the line because nothing ever seems to happen for me. Maybe I don't know how to achieve the dreams and thoughts I have but maybe they are just not meant to happen. I don't know but if nothing else I wish that man would have sexual shockwave from me because I sure have sexual something about him!!!!

short and to the point

Can you get burned out on partying??
Where are the decent men??
What do you do when you are over the bullshit??
What if you want a man and are afraid to approach him??
How do you find that personal happiness??
How fat is too fat??

Ok I know these are stupid but if you have a answer
please let me know!!!

Self Satisfaction

Self satisfaction can come in so many forms......what do you think of when someone says self satisfction?  Doing things for yourself that makes you happy.........buying that outfit you love, going out to eat at your favorite restuarant, going for a drive, walking in the park, taking a long hot bath, watching your favorite tv show, watching what you want on tv, having control of the remote, reading a book for hours on end, sleeping in as late as you want, going to the tanning bed, getting a puppy, listening to the music you enjoy, etc. etc. etc
I just realized in typing this that most people and especially women (wives and moms) don't do what they would like to do for themselves, not even some of the time because they are usually doing for someone else, like a spouse or children.  I know because that was the way my life used to be and now I do more for myself but I'm not so sure I feel the self satisfaction.  My son's have their own lives, I have my own life without a spouse (which that part I'm happy about)  but now I have more time to contemplate silly things like self satisfaction and what it means to me.  I listed all those things and yes some of those things make me happy but mostly it makes me happy that I can do those things without feeling guilty, or having t explain myself to someone else.  In all honesty I started this about self satisfaction and it turned into a way more serious topic then I wanted it to be ...........my self satisfaction was orginally the thought of satisfying myself without having a man........yes that is exactly what I mean.......spending a few meaningful moments with my toys!!!!  Pushing myself over that personal edge to momentary happiness, relief, relaxaion and bliss.  Damn if that feeling could just last a little longer........hell a man can't even do that!!!!! So here's to self satisfation!!!!!

The Pool Boy

This is another knotch........when you read this your going to think......OMG does she ever learn and all I can say is apparently not!!!!  This knotch is about the pool boy.......now when I say pool boy is wasn't that he worked at the pool nor did he clean the pool.  We both  lived at a apartment complex that has a pool and he was at the pool the same times I would be at the pool.   This past summer I would go to the pool to lay out......now mind you I'm not a miss skinny minnie like I say in my profile I have plenty of cushion for the pushin but I still wear a two piece bathing suit.  Boyshorts and bikini top...........I don't think I'm miss sexy but I don't really care when I lay out.......if you don't like what you see then look the other way.  So with that said when I was laying out on several occasions I realized this guy at the pool kept watching me..........all I could think is "what you ain't never seen a fat girl in a bathing suit or what??"  On this one beautiful hot sunny day I went to the pool and there he was on the back side of the pool so I decided to lay out on the other side with my back to him thinking this would solve the problem of him watching me.  Oh no that didn't stop him from watching me so I decided to lay on my stomach, when I do I always unfasten my top.  While laying there with my top undone he decides to leave.....walking all the way around the pool to walk past me.  As he walks by he stops next to me and says, "I just want you to know your sexy as hell."  I look up at him and then look around like he must be talking to someone else and even say "who me?"  He says, "yes your sexy as hell"  At that point I figure the best thing to do is just say Thank you.  The Pool Boy starts to walk away and then comes back and asks me if I want his number so we can text.  I thought of what the hell, what can it hurt.  But instead if taking his I give him mine figuring he would change his mind when he walked away and thought about things......but after about ten minutes he starts texting me.  We text back and forth for about an hour....things got very suggestive ended up he came over to my apartment.  We talked for a little bit and of coarse come to find out........he just graduated from AU, getting ready to move to TN, graduated from the same high school as my son and was just a year older.  I ask him what he wants with me, he was a nice looking young man, I'm sure he could get a younger and much sexier young girl than me,.......but he said no I was sexy as hell....... I was a young guy's fantasy, his "Mrs. Robinson".   So ok that's good I'm in for role playing games........off we went for a tumble......here again this is the part where I don't ever learn.......we got things rolling and it lasted all of two minutes, he wasn't big enough to rock my world, no tongue action......basically did nothing for me and made his fantasy come true.  I'm glad I can be a dream maker but I need some of my fantasies to come true.  At this point unless proven othewise I'm swearing of  all men under 30 years old.  

Football Man........touch down zero

I decided I need to blog about my football man. Now this is out of order for my knotches but this one has been bugging me for a while.  Now I have mentioned that I love football and I have had this man hitting me that is a ex-football player, he claims he was a pro football player but I'm not so sure.  Anyway he was talking to me, making the moves, at one point I ask him straight up what he wants with me.  He admitted he wanted sex........now I'm saying it much more bluntly than did, he actually said "make love to you".  I just said ok I can deal with that but i made him wait several more weeks because I had to think about if that is what I wanted........basically just sex.  He called me one day and wanted to come over so finally I decided.....what the hell, I'm grown and know what I'm getting into.  I told him to come over later in the evening, and of course he did.  He came in and the first thing he sat on my couch for a little while and we just talked.  Now one thing I have to say he is a big man.........works out, coaches football, etc.........you can tell he played football because he is huge.  I have a small dog......she is all of 7 pounds but a hyper little girl.  She was all excited that someone was at ours place but football man acted all leery of little dog so I kept her away from him.  If you have  pet you know what I mean when I say if you like me, you have to like my pet......so that football man was acting so strange about my little dog didn't sit so well with me. (here again I should have got a clue!!!!)  Anyway she got away from me, jumped on the arm of the chair, over to the arm of the couch up on football man's shoulder, ran across his shoulders and down on the other side.  It was so funny but the best part was the look on football man's face, like he was going to jump up, run and total shock.  (here again I should have gotten a clue) I really think football man was scared of this little dog.  I than put little dog in her crate and covered it with a blanket so she would leave us alone.  Then we got down to business on the couch.  I like how he kiss at least it wasn't bad, wasn't the best but pretty average.  While sitting on the couch I pulled of my shirt and had my pants open..........decieded we should be comfortable, so we went to my bedroom......Rest of the clothes come off and the first thing I realize this man has a small dick.......about the size of my thumb, and uncut.  I think maybe when he gets hard it gets bigger........oh hell no......no such luck for me. I'm absolutely tripping.......OMG not again.  Yes he has a thumb-size dick and no hard-on.  I even went down on him thinking maybe this would be ok, that he would get hard and it would be bigger........Oh no...............he kept saying over and over "oh that feels good, that feels good, that feels good", but hell he could'nt get a hard-on.  So when he couldn't get hard I was done because I had been down this road before but he asks for some lube and for me to get on my knees.......so WTF I can be game, I get the lube, give it to him, get on my knees, my ass in the air, he lubes up his Mr Softee the proceeds to rub it up and down the crack of my ass.  I bury my face in the covers trying not to laugh out loud, trying to hold my shoulders still so he don't realize I'm laughing.  Finally I have had enough, he didn't eat at the "Y", couldn't stand up for the action and wasn't long enough to get there even if Mr Softee would have stood at attention.  I'm wondering what the hell do I say to him and not laugh........then I get the bright idea to say I think I scared him with me being so forward..........here again making it look like it was my fault.......but I couldn't be mean, he has had to live his entire life with a little Mr Softee.  Has to live the rest if his life with a little dick but I wanted him gone from my place.  All I could do was laugh the rest of the evening. I haven't heard from him since thank my lucky stars or the sex god......whatever.  The one thing I can't figure out is what does a man think when he has such a small dick that he's gonna start something with a woman to have sex with her.  If you have a small dick at least compensate by either giving a great finger fuck or eatin pussy.  If you don't or can't  do either then stay home and put your Mr Softee into your own hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Birthdays.......just another day!!!!

well Monday is my birthday.......another year older......but what does it really mean?  I don't feel any older. Birthday isn't what makes me feel older.....it is the stresses in life......job, children, men, money, and just life challenges in general.  I don't feel like my age and hopefully people see I am young at heart........I think of myself as I did years ago just more experience under my belt.  I feel much younger now because I have much more happiness in my heart than I had for many years.  I lost alot of my heart in the last several years and finally feel like I'm getting that back.  I'm doing things for myself and want to enjoy my life.........so here is to birthdays and not getting older but younger at heart and enjoying  life!!!!!!!

what's the deal with men????

I have a friend that was starting to see someone, take your time to get to know the man but you really like him.  After all the crap that you have been thru you want to take your time and make sure of what's going on. You talk and talk with the new man, there is so much you like about him that you start thinking this might turn into something.  You get to feel like a teenager again and get to make out but still not sure how far you really want to go........then finally you get there and the man can't get it up. I'm Sorry Pool-girl!!!!! Been there had that happen to me.......and when it does the first thing is WTF......but then you start to wonder what the fuck is wrong with me, especially if the man has been all over you, sweet talking you with how beautiful, sexy, hot, gorgous or whatever they say to sweet talk you.  I don't know what the problem with the man is.......if it is a ED issue, over excitment, they are closet gay, or they are just full of shit.  But when it is time to get down to the dance in the sheets and he can't get it up alot falls back onto the woman as to what the hell is wrong with me.  I can't figure it out and truly don't care anymore......i basically think men are full of shit.......nothing personal against any one man but I'm so over it.  I deal with alot of self confidence issues anyway without having to deal with a man's limp noodle problems.  If you can't get it up then let me know because I will understand and can be patient but don't fuckin tell me "I don't know?? This hasn't ever happened to me before"........because I promise it is not the first time it has happen, and yes it counts when you are spanking the monkey and can't finish yourself off.   After all that sweet talking why would you mke it to be like it was my fault for your limp noodle issue.  To be honest because of the meds I have a hard time getting to the big "O" but don't mean I don't enjoy all the action.  I think from now on if I ever find anonther man I would like to dance in the sheets with I'm gonna tell him........fuck me like there is no tomorrow but maybe I will and maybe I won't fall over the edge........but it's not you if I don't........it is me!!!!!

addiction

I have decided I have a addiction.....it sucks because it is so hard to break. I don't have many vises, I don't smoke, don't drink coffee or caffine drink, don't do drugs. I do like to drink liquor but that's not the addiction...its a serious addiction because I can't stop. For about 2 or 3 weeks I can cut back to one a week and then after that it is like I have to make up for lost time and that's all I want. It is terrible and so frustrating because I don't what to have to feel like I have to have and I don't want to crave it. I know your going ok so what is the addiction already....and it not sex. I have admitted I have a problem....I have an addiction...I need it when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm stressed and I just am...I'm addicted to Dr Pepper!! Yes I have faced my addiction but I don't know how to break it to beat this addiction. I need to be admitted to Dr Pepper rehab Sign me up!!

Hi to my followers

Hi Everyone!!!! I want to say thanks for reading my blog. I know sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's crazy, sometimes it's really strange, and of course sometimes it's just plain dumb........but sometimes that is what goes thru my mind and I feel like blogging about that. If you're a regular follower please add yourself as a follower and if you have comments feel free to comment. I would love your comments and if you have an idea I could blog about let me know. I will get back to some more knotches to add to my bedpost but all in good time, sometimes I struggle finding the right words to talk about some of those situations and the men involved. Yes so far all the situations with the men actually happened.

So thanks again for reading, be a follower, and make comments!!!

Love ya all!!

Butter!!

mustache

Everyone knows someone with a mustache, or maybe I should say a man.........but you know one of your friends has a Lady-stache. Yes that is exactly what you think it is..............a lady with a mustache. Now I won't lie I have a issue with the lady-stache but I wax that puppy off and between waxings I pluck them sucker out. Still haven't figured out why as you get older you start growing hair in funk place that a person should just not grow hair and one of those places is the lady-stache. Now I'm not saying only older lady's grow the "stache", I've seen a few younger lady's with the "stache" but today I noticed several different women with the lady-stache going on.........I can't help but wonder do they look in the mirror and see it or do their eyes lie to them and they don't see it??? Am I just crazy anal because soon as I seen one little hair I'm freakin out and pluckin that bad boy. I figured everybody and their brother has seen it and are wondering what's up with my lady-stache. Now I know i'm crazy about it but I used to work this woman, younger than me and she had a seriously, major, big time lady-stache going on. I'm mean it was so much hair on her lip I wondered if her husband was gay and enjoyed the tickle of that hairy lip when he kissed her. If she was going down on him he had to see that mustache on her lip and feel like a man was suckin his noodle. I can't help but wonder why he didn't say, "hey baby let's try a new look and lose the lady-stache". What man wants to kiss and have relations with a woman that has a better mustache than he does??? Just one of those thing I ponder and just can't figure out!!!!!!

Man Purse

Yesterday late afternoon I took a nap when I work up it was 8:30 I knew I wasn't going to bed ready fro bed unil late. I decided to go out for a little while, I hadn't had supper, so i got a shower, then went to Bdubs for some grub, hoping there would be some kind of football on......there was but it was college. Had a drink, enjoyed some dinner, watched the game......it was after 11pm, I left and decided to go by one of my other hang out spots.......ok go in and have a drink. Sitting there shootin the shit with the bartender and a couple other people. Seen this group of guys that came in.......they looked like they couple have been scoccer players or something..............or something is the key word here.........but I think they were actually just a bunch of mexican. The one guy had a man purse over his shoulder, he even kept his money in his man purse and got his wallet out of his man purse to pay for his beer. I'm sorry but if you need to bring in a man purse when you go to a bar you got more baggage the any woman in the joint. I'm sorry lose the man purse dude, grow some balls and put your money in your pocket.

Now I don't see a guy with a man purse very often but after seeing the dude at the bar with one, then seen one on Monday at a Walmart in West Lafayette with one, I'm starting to wonder is this the new male generation.........carrying a manpurse.......what is that all about showing their fenimine side???? Well the hell with that put your shit in your pocket and walk like a man!!!!

toliet paper

I don't know about most people but I'm kinda picky about toliet paper. The kind of toliet paper I buy to how the roll goes one the roller. First it has to be that when you pull the paper it rolls over the top and down.......any other way and I have to change it. I absolutely hate it when it falls down the back and you have to keep spinning the roll to get ahold of the end. Then I like soft paper not that crappy paper most public places use in their restrooms.......not only is that paper stiff and crispy but seems like it is always 1 ply paper. One ply paper is just asking for trouble......yes, first you have to pull a wad as big as a softball to get the coverage you need when your taking care of business, then you have to worry about slippage or tear thru. If you don't have a big enough wad you don't want a finger tearing thru at any point in the process. Another thing about that thin, crappy paper when those public restrooms clean and put new rolls in, they are so tight in the roller when you pull the sheet they tear of one sheet at a time........or just the corner and you have to hold on to it, trying to unroll with the other hand!!!!! Then you gotta love the brand new roll that the start end is glued down and you have to tear thru the first 6 layers to get it started. You tell me these things have not happened to you at some point in your business trips to the restroom??

the sock

if it is stupid it will happen to me....I'm in meeting for work in Indy, we need to dress business casual....to me business casual is nice dark jeans and nice top. Getting dressed for my meeting today I decided to wear this sweater type top that is all in one like a tank and sweater. Looks nice and dressy. Got dressed and ran out the door for my 40 minute drive to Indy....traffic sucked but got there only about 5 minute late. Sitting in the meeting, taking part and being active....they have food, I got some fruit and a blueberry muffin (yummo) and then sat around a little more, than woohoo a break because I gotta pee. Run to the restroom, undo my pants, lift my shirt and I hear a plop on the floor.....there on the floor is one of my white socks...I look around...where the hell did that come from...looking at my feet....shoes and socks still on my feet...so the only place it could have come from is my shirt....what the hell, the shirt has been in my closet for months and months that sock hung in there....I put that shirt on, left for my meeting, walked into the Loon Lake Lodge, sat at the table, went to the breakfast table for my muffin and that sock hung in there.....hopefully it didn't hang out the back like a tail. Guess the sock just couldn't hang on anymore because when I went to pee that was it....maybe it was toliet-phobic and jumped before it would fall in the toliet. You know all that swishing and swirling....it would be like a water ride. So this afternoon I will ponder what my other clothes are hiding and if I need to check everything I put on before I leave my home....but for now I'm still shaking my head asking the ultimate question....why does this kind of stupid stuff happen to me??

Size does matter

While driving down the road there was a commercial on the radio "does size matter??" All I could say after what I have been thru "FUCK YA!!! Size matters!!!!". I have been the with the Itty Bitty dickoies and when it won't reach to give me a ride than what's the point. They say its not the size but how the man uses it!! Ha that's bullshit too!! Had a long skinny dick and all that did was hit bottom and hurt.that must be where the term pencil dick came from. So what would be a good size..... Bigger than my thumb and more girth than a freakin pencil but beyond that I'm not so sure but I do know size matters.....I always think at least once I would like to hook up with someone and see the man tool and say "OMG what am I supposed to do with that" and have a fun time making it work, fit and trying it out,,,,,,and not the because its a ITTY BITTY!!!!.

customer service my style

I just had a passing thought......my profile if you read it says I work for a big grocery store chain amd yes this is true.....they preach, encourage, insist, push customer service. Now dont get me wrong when I go to a store I want good customer service, be treated nicely by reasonably smart customer service people. Now I feel like I am a very smart customer service person and I have to say as a general rule my staff is the same............but where in god's name do all these stupid, unreasonable, greedy down right crazy people come from that think I as a customer service person has to kiss their ass?????? I guess it is a good thing that I don't get to say all the things that go thru my mind when I see some of these people or smell these people or listen to and hear these people talk or having to deal with their craziness. Just looking at some of these customer I wish we could give away hotel size bars of soap, shampoo, toothbrushes and toothpaste. I understand about not having a lot of money but at least bath and keep clean. Wash your hands, face, hair and clothes........and combs and brushes go a long way not to mention the use of scissors to cut the rats nests out of their hair. Then OMG they must have dirty mirrors or no mirrors because the clothes they wear............even plain jeans and a shirt would look better then the rolls, muffin tops, sagging boobs, and wide load asses they squeeze into clothes that are spagehetti strap, tank tops, tube top, stretch pants, shorty shorts, low hung jeans and all around skank wear they bought in sizes 3 times too small!!! I haven't mentioned the hairdos, makeup, and shoes. It is unreal how these people dress on a daily bases. How can they stand to smell themselves......imagine how thei home must smell......ewwwwww yuck.
Men wearing womens clothes and wigs because they are drag queens, girls that dress like dudes, which wouldn't be such a big deal but they all dress like either ICP or hip hop gangster. Have I mentioned tatoos?? I love tats, have a few myself, will probably get more but today was a topper.........this girl shaved her eyebrows and had stars tatooed in a arch for eyebrows. I was like WTF.......I know she would be on the top of my to hire list!!! I just dont understand that some people get tats that are so freakin ugly.......I just want to ask "did you pay money to have that done??? I hope not, cuz if you did you need a refund." Then there are the customer that just absolutely drive me over the edge.......do they think I'm stupid.........if some of these people spent as much time on honest work that they do to figure out how to scam the store they would probably have plenty of money. I've had customer make me so mad I have done the "fuck you dance" to walking away and slamming the office door......and I have said things before I shouldn't have but there comes a time where all bets are off. So people are so freakin rude like I owe them the world and everything in it but I don't how much or how little you have I don't owe you anything........I work hard to take care and support myself........I live by you treat me kindly and nice I will be the same to you.......I will even start it and be nice first but don't give me your shit and adittude cuz bitch all bets are off and the shit is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laundry

Laundry, dishes and trash........they never end and there's always more.......today I broke down and had to do my laundry, I have been putting it off since last Thursday. I went last week to the laundry mat on 8th street because I had several blankets to wash. I really like this laundry mat because it nice, new, clean, and they work at keeping it that way. The only problem is there is this guy that works there and he is too nice. I know your going what the **** ???? TOO NICE???? yes he is too nice. Last time I was there he helped carry out my basket full of laundry to my truck. Not used to that, I'm used to doing for myself and if I need help I will ask.
Ok so after the last time I thought ok he was just being nice and he did help other people out with their laundry too. That was all fine but today when I went to do my laundry at the same place he was there again.........this time he came out to my truck to help take the laundry in.........I just as soon take my own dirty clothes in.........but he was like no here let me get it for you.......is he gonna smell my dirty clothes, more specifically my dirty panties?? My dirty bras that have boob sweat on them. Then I thought OMG what does boob sweat smell like.........I know what dirty panties smells like.........and other dirty laundry.........so was that the deal with this guy to smell everyones dirty laundry??? Why else would he want to carry dirty laundry in........ oh yeah he's being nice. Guess that is just what it is.

The Wash out

One day at work we were talking about men and what we liked in a man. Everyone has that special thing or couple things that turns them on.......I like big stature men, shaved bald heads, and oh I don't know sometimes things just have to click. So anyway one of my work friends decides she is going to introduce me to a past co-work of hers (and friend). She thinks I will like him because he has a shaved bald head, which was fine but we just didn't have that click. We called each other a few times and talked even went to Bdubs for a drink and chatted. Now that was interesting because you know it is a small world........years ago he was living with his baby mama and her other son from another man. Her son was in the same class, school and was friends with my younger son. So while we talked it was like remembering and catching up with some of the people we knew from when the boys were in elementary school. It was kinda nice to have that in common but was kinda weird. First I didn't like his son's mama, the son was a pretty nice kid but situation was strange to me at the time. Mr Washout and I were supposed to go out to dinner.......he was supposed to call me when he got home from work and then we would go, well I never heard from him (yeah guess I got stood up) and so we didn't have dinner.........about a month later I ran into him at my work and he apologize profusely because he got home, took a nap and didn't wake up until really late. You know I don't really have a problem with that but the next day call and say hey I was wiped out from work, zonked out and didn't wake up till late.......that's fine ......whatever but like i said things just didn't click so I was ready to move on, and honestly was glad to move on. Now with all that said--- because I went to Bdubs to have a drink with Mr Wash out the next crazy thing happened to me............

Landscape

My friend told me he did some manscaping so of course my mind wonders about things....like what exactly and how much manscaping....I mean I know what he's talking about but how much?? Just trimming the short and curlies or buzzin the bush down to like a G.I.'s buzzcut when he joins the army?? Or getting out the razor and giving it up to the boyhood days of no hair?? Now I don't know about other women but for myself I like the ladyscaping....used to do the "landing strip" but I could never keep it in a nice strip and then when you would keep the landing strip those hairs would grow long and get curly then that was kinda strange too. So than every so often I would have to trim the curlies back....that's just too much trouble...I finally decided to go "Bald Eagle"....just lather up just like when I do my legs and swipe, swipe, and its done. Just feels cleaner,think it smells cleaner too...not to mention about that special visit from Aunt Martha. Only thing is if I'm bald eagle and Mr Funtime is reliving his boyhood...that's no fun becausehis junk just sticks too much to my cushion for the pushin instead of getting a good slid and glide going. Manscaping or Ladyscaping....would you let someone else to it to you or is that a job you rather handle personally?? Wow that's an interesting question.....what would I do??

is it good

Ok so keep in mind I've had a few drinks....laying at home in bed and I just had a passing thought (over look the spelling errors)....is it a bad thing to take pain reliever, cough med with codine, anti-depressant, blood presure, antihistamine, decongestant after drinking? I just know I feel pretty damn good right now and I'm going to sleep if my demon puppy will let me!!!!OMG she wants to play and I want to sleep!!
She's can be such a bitch!! LOL!!!

the exudus.....

Things are hopping at Shouts and then comes the exudus....they all go to the Ramada....all the same faces....same hos...the same....dude's trollin for a piece of ass for the night....just movin on for the next drink.....me included, with 2 pitchers of Long islands under my belt and I get to have one more than it is water for the rest of the night......I will have to fix all my typo because I broke my cheater readers!!! That sucks cuz I really like then but hey they were only $1. Ok so now I lost track of my thought path or is that my train of thought!! Its started but not totally the exudus from Shouts but a few. My ass better stop till I can fix my typos get some glasses to see and to the next blog!!!!

feel the need!!!

No not that need!!! Your so bad because I know what you were thinkin.....but I'm talkin about the need to blog about things I see when I'm out and sitting at the bar. I never felt this way before I started to blog and I can blog from my phone..... I see so much I would love to blog about but I would look like a geek sitting typing on my phone with my dorky cheater readers on.....god forbid can't do that I'm supposed to be the perverbible Mrs Robinson Hot Mama older women snaggin the young stud!!! STOP laughing!!!

shoes? what kind are hottest

Thursday night....love thursday nights, my main night out. Go out drink, chill, have a good time , shoot the shit with friends. First you have to figure out what to wear, once that is done its the shoes!!! I would love to wear a shoe with 3 or 4 inch heels but I'm afraid I will twist my ankle or break my neck, especially once I've had a few to drink. So do I put on strappy sandels, flip-flops, or comfy shoes like athletic shoes. Well tonight it is strappy sandels with straps around my ankles before long I will have to wear warmer shoes. But the big question is do men really care what kind of shoe a woman has on? Sure there is the sky high fuck me shoe and the cutsie shoe but ultimately do they care? If the main goal is a piece of ass, I don't know about anyone else but when I ride the pony I don't wear shoes (just my spurs LOL). Yes there have been a couple I wish I had spurs on to make the man move fast and harder but that's for another time.
So what are your favorite shoes to wear when you go out?
My favorite is the pair my puppy hasn't chewed up yet!!

the mind is a crazy thing

I know you have heard "the mind is a terrible thing to waste" .........but do you ever just wonder where you dreams come from? I do especially when I have the funky dreams when you wake up thinkin "what the hell". Like the other day I had a dream that I was in the shower, was getting out, when I pulled the shower curtain aside there was my boss waiting to get in. All I could do was laugh and ask my boss why didn't you tell me you wanted to take a shower?? Of course when I woke you thinkin "OMG why would I dream about my boss, I don't even particularly like my boss". There is that ewwww factor too. Now the dreams I enjoy are the sexy dreams and when you wake up it is always before the big bang moment which is totally frustrating. How hard do you try to go back to sleep right away to finish that dream........but you either can't go back to sleep orthe dream doesn't come back. The mind is a funny thing because from the day I left my ex I did not miss him or anything but the night after I found out my divorce was final I dreamed about my ex. I actually dreamed about him several times, when I woke up after dreamin about my ex I was down right pissed off, and still can't figure that one out. So what kind of dreams do you have??? Do you ever wonder why you dream what you dream? I do't know sometimes I have strange things that I wonder about and question.
Things that make you go hmmmmmmm????

Just wondering

Today on the way to work I stopped at Ricker's to get a pop for work and as I'm sitting in my truck this group of high school boys walk up to the building stop and talk to some other friends that were by their car......next thing I notice not one but at least 3 of this group of guys is tweakin around the front of their pants....adjusting the package....unstickin their balls from their leg, I don't know but I have noticed a lot of that going on these days. I raised two boys and while they growing up I never noticed it before but as they became young men the tweaking, adjusting and moving of the junk became much more noticable. What is the deal is the noodle and swedish meatballs hangin down so far that it needs moved around and unstuck, maybe a little Gold Bond powder would help that stickin issue. Thank the good Lord women don't have the need to adjust the girls and tweak the nips and do some general scratching.......ok enough of that I gotta pull the wedgie out of the crack of my ass.

Mr Feelgood

Bar sitter--that is what I have become. I like to go to the bar, sit, have a drink, watch the people, listen to the music and just chill out. Even though most people think oh your there to pick up a man.......well that is a side option but not the foremost thing on my mind. Like I have said before I'm comfortable with my own company but I make friends really easy. Most of the time if I'm at a bar and a man comes to talk to me and "hit" on me I usually go home alone. I didn't realize it until a couple weeks ago but men do notice me at the bar and notice that I usually go home alone. I have had a few come up to me start a conversation and part of the conversation is "I see at the bar alot but your never with anyone.......where's your man?"

I usually tell them straight up I kicked him to the curb. So on one of these occasions......me sitting at the bar chillin and drinkin.........guy comes up to me asks me the question......where's your man??........and why you at the bar alone. My usual response.......kicked him to the curb

anyway we start talking..........I'm in a mood ( ;-) ) if ya know what I mean and he must have been in a mood too. With my past experience with IB and L.D. I decide I'm going to ask a few important question before anything is gonna happen with me. First Then "can you get a hard-on" .........yes I truly ask him that question........he looked at me like are you kidding me? I felt like saying if you had happen to you some of the things that has happened to me you would be asking me questions too like...........after the funny look he just laughed at me.....the next question was accompanied with a hand jesture (no not that one) I was showing him my thumb and ask if he was bigger than my thumb??? Again he kinda laughed and ask me if I wanted to feel. Sure why not because if it wasn't a hand full then I wasn't going there. Mr Rabbit was ok but I wanted a man attached to the action, so I took Mr. Feelgood home and he made me feel good. LOL Now he was I needed at the moment but we only hooked up one other time. Yeah I know I said no string and no attachments but Mr Feelgood didn't get to just come up to me, tell me we are going to my place and expect me to just jump at his whim...........so needless to say I don't take well to a man thinkin he's gonna run my life or make me jump to his whims.......Mr Feelgood got the Miss Blow-off!!!!!

Toys Toys Toys

......after my "adventures" with Copper, L.D. and IB, I decided that I need to step back and think about how I'm gonna make things better when I meet men. In the mean time a girl has needs sometimes that need needs taken care of. Now when I was married I had several toys but they were mostly used with the ex, so when I left him I left them there too. The ex even ask me do you want your toys?? Nope I said you keep them and fuck yourself with them. Now I can't image why he would keep them but he still has them......so does he stroke them in his fantasy land or use them on his girlfriend?? All I can think is EEWWWWW yuck!! anyway...........I needed and wanted some new toys to make my own new memories with!!! LOL!!! Internet shopping I went....oh my all the toys for so many fun things to do......alone, with a friend (man friend thank you). Dildo, dongs, vibrators, glass dildos, butt plugs, rabbits and lubes, restraints. You name it, it was there. First thing I looked for was a Rabbit, I had heard how great they were and I wanted one. Found myself a nice, middle of the road Rabbit (next time I'm going to upgrade to a Rabbit with more bells and whistles) Just a Rabbit wasn't enough, found some lube, got a vibrator, and a dildo. As I browsed the website for a dildo I found the "catapillar".......I thought that looks like a good dildo so with my order complete I eagerly awaited my delivery. I have a special drawer in my bedroom for my toys and stuff, so when the order finally arrived I excitedly took the box into my bedroom to open and put away my special new treasures!!!! With the box on my bed I opened it, the first thing I see on top is the catapillar........between laughing so hard I almost peed my pants, and saying "OMG" over and over and over, I took the catapillar out of the box. The catapillar should have been called the anaconda because it was freakin huge!!!!! Felt like it weighted about 5 pounds and is as long as my foot but OMG the girth!!!! I couldn't even get my hand all the way around it. Now I don't have small hands so for me not to get my hand around it, it is big, as a matter of fact when I tried to get my hand around it there were still about 3 inches to go........all I could think was that thing aint gonna fit. It will never fit, not even if a girl launched herself onto it would it fit, fall on it, sit on it, nothing was gonna make it fit.......there is not enough lube in the world to make that "catapillar" fit. Now when I seen catapillar I thought average size, cute.....should be just right. Lesson learned when ordering dildos off the internet get out a ruler, tape measure, something to see how big something is gonna be. To be honest I never even looked at the dimension for the catapillar, just went by the name, the picture and assumed it would ok. Really didn't even think about it. So even ordering dildos my luck is pretty iffy, if you know what I mean.
I love the Rabbit......"here bunny, bunny, bunny!!!!!" Oh and by the way the catapillar doesn't fit, don't even keep it in my special toy drawer.....afraid it will break the bottom out of the drawer!!! LOL!!!!!








Oh and by the way it doesn't fit

L.D. .......yeah it means something

Where to start........oh yes.....L.D. was really nice and we seemed to have alot in common so he came home with me. I honestly thought we could be friends and a little more......we get to my place and start the ritual....the kissing and the touching. Men want to see and feel the girls, so I'm usually the one with my shirt off first, things were moving along and interesting. Finally L.D. loses his pant and I get to see the man parts....nothing to get excited about just average and that's ok. But from all the touchy feely stuff he didn't have a hard-on (here again I should take a clue) He sits back on the couch and I get on my knees between his legs and play the trumpet. Now I'm not like a professional BJ giver but I do ok (I make the things happen that are supposed to happen). Now with L.D. I tried every trick I could think of and this man never got a
hard-on........hence the name L.D.----Limp Dick!!!! I'm just going and going and nothing is happening.......I thinkin what the hell!!! L.D. finally decides to tell me about 20 minutes or so of this and me freakin out in my mind that I'm doing it wrong that a couple of years ago he had prostrate cancer and had his prostrate remove. I thinkin ok I understand things like that happen but what does that mean???? He fesses up that he can't get a hard-on unless he gives himself a shot in his dick and the shot cost $45.00. Ok I can deal with that too, so where is the shot? ...............HE HAS NO SHOT!!!!! that means no hard-on......what the fuck did he think he was gonna do with me???? but oh no that isn't the only mishap with this man......while I'm going down on him tryin to figure out why he's not getting hard, he's thinks it's sexy and hot to rub my coochie with his big toe...........YES HIS FREAKIN BIG TOE!!!!! so you can just image what's going thru my mind not only am I freak cause I can't get him hard, I'm think what the fuck is he doing with his feet on me. No I didn't like it, didn't remotely turn me on, I just thinkin how the hell do I get these guys. All this is bad enough and for some reason I must have blocked out some of what happened because the next thing I really remember is sitting at the end of my couch (nude) and he is laying back on the other end of the couch with his legs kind of across my lap and he has fallen asleep. I'm thinkin I need to wake this man up and send him on his way. While he's sleeping all of a sudden he is twitching and jerking and making these funny noises. I just watching him thinkin OMG this guy better not be having a heart attack or be dying on my couch......naked no less. Finally I'm freakin enough from all the movements and noises that I'm tryin to wake him up.
He wakes up and I tellin him what happened ....he has restless leg syndrome.......I'm thinkin no hard-on, pussy foot fetish and restless leg.....OMG what else. He gets up to use the restroom and I jump up put my robe on, then sit in my chair (chair for one person chair) he come back to the living room , sit on the arm of my chair and wants to start stuff again........I like no fuckin way this is going anywhere else, so I tell him he needs to go home because he told me earlier he was traveling to North Carolina the next day. I got him out the door and turned the dead bolt lock just shaking my head thinking OMG how does this shit happen to me??? What the hell was he thinkin comin to my place knowing he wasn't gonna be able to get a hard-on, meanig no pussy and knowing I wasn't going to get any dick. What was he thinkin?? What goes thru a man's mind when you know you can't get a hard-on without a shot, you have no shot with you, your not gonna satisfy the woman your going home with.......what's the fuckin point. At this point between Itty Bitty and Limp Dick I don't think I want any man for a while.

Football

Woohoo football season is almost here again......I can't wait. I love football and I have decided that football maybe played by men but is a sport for women....yeah I can hear the questions....say what a sport for women?? Hell yeah men in tight pant with big muscle, tight ends and penetration!!!! Sounds perfect to me just need a football player!! So what this got to do with bedposts and knotches?? Well I like going to Buffalo Wild wings to watch the games...something about men on the big screen and a few drinks. So one night in sitting at Bdubs for a bite to eat and a couple drinks watching the game. I don't have a problem with being alone....so there I sat at the bar minding my own business, enjoying the game, playing with my phone. I realize the guy sitting a few stools over keeps watching what I'm doing and finally he move over sits next to me....starts asking me about my blackberry..having the internet....now this guy travels so he was asking me about the weather in North Carolina because he was going there the next day. So we watch the game, talk.....at first I like I don't know but the more we talked the more we seemed to have in common...going through a divorce...grown sons....about the same age....football...etc so thing move forward from there and I thought ok maybe this could be something. He was kinda nice looking and really sweet to me, So in my new freedom mode I decided he could come to my place and he followed me home. This sweet man I'm gonna call Ld

OMG Factor

ok so you ready for the OMG factor because I still feel like OMG everytime I think about IB.
Back on the floor and tired to rock my world but didn't .......about then he takes off the rest of his clothes so we could get it on......that's when I seen "it" as in Itty Bitty Teeny Weinie!! OMG this young guy's dick was Itty Bitty for all his life long..........I know your thinking how itty bitty can it be?? Pretty damn Itty Bitty as in my thumb was bigger then his dick, as in a 5 year old has a bigger dick then him, as in I feel sorry for him to have to live his life with such a small dick. And by the way this was with a hard on......just think on that for a minute......ok so now I'm think are you kidding me, what the hell do I do with that and how, then can I go home now, so I bite my lip and think ok this might work (remember about taking a clue) and forward we went.
I'm gonna make this short and sweet and to the point........he couldn't get it in....not even close....humped my leg a couple of times then spuged on my leg......then proceded to wipe the spuge off my leg with the sock he had on. At this point I just wanted to go home shower and go to bed. Most of all I wanted to forget the whole thing but all I could think was OMG how could that be so Itty Bitty??

Now I have to say I didn't want to see or even talk to IB again and shortly after that my son moved to Indy but oh for whatever reason he wanted to hook up with me again. Texted me almost daily which I was nice but didn't fall for any kind of suggestive talk but he wouldn't stop.
Wanted me to go to England with him.....yeah right like that was ever gonna happen.......and he got really kinda pushy like I was hanging out at home all lonely waiting for somone to entertain me........I dont think so this gal can take care and entertain herself if I have too. So finally a great friend sent him a text message that I had a man and that man was taken caring of me every night. Finally he decided to move on and I haven't heard from him since. Thanks for the help big J!!!!!!

IB.......yes there is a reason for the name

Alright so I have to say IB lived in the same complex that I live in and at the time my son (his friend) still lived with me......did I feel guilt ?? NO!! Did I feel weird about him being my son's friend.....maybe a little but the thought of getting young hot pony that was more interesting. Beside my son and I had a deal he don't say anything about who I hook up with as long as its not my ex (his dad) and I could work with that.

So I'm at IB place....we were talking and watchin the fire in the fireplace and seemed like he was a little unsure where to start things, so I decide ok I can be the "Mrs Robinson" and start things because it already was 4am and I wanted to get some sleep that night. I climbed into his lap straddling his legs and things got going......the kissing....which I should have took a clue there already because he didn't kiss worth a damn......the touchy feely thing and men are just too fasinated with boobs...don't get me wrong love the boobs touched, kissed, licked, sucked but there again I should have took a clue because he didn't do anything for me in the boobage either. Ok so thing progressed from there and we ended up on the floor....have to give him credit he tried to rock my world with his tongue but again I should have took a clue....it just wasn't happening....I should have left then, save me and him the omg factor.

Knotch number 2

Knotch number two is the one I will call Itty Bitty or how about IB. By the time I'm done with this knotch you will begin to understand why my friend says "this crazy shit only happens to you." Just gonna start this by saying that I have known IB since he was in school........grade school actually and I dont mean he was in school with me but with my son......yes this guy was 23 years old. Ran into him at Shouts one night and he was hitting on me. He really isn't the kind of attractive that I like and he is young. But another one of my friends was telling me sometimes the ugly duck dude might be really a nice guy and hot. So between that and him being young, here again I thought ridin that pony just might be fun......

that's what i get for thinkin.........so I went to his place and things got started........

I'm gonna be bitchy and petty.......

.....ok so when I see Copper these days that is what I think.......F**k You!!!

So you wanna know what kind of asswipe he is.......ok so go back read the blog about no string no attachments.......part of that deal was I told him when your done and are gonna move on just say so. You know...... Yo baby it was nice playin hide half a weinie with you but I found a new bun. I'm a self centered asshole that thinks I'm gods gift and I found new person to grace with my presence. Something.....anything but no he couldn't even do that, had to find out round about on my own and when I did I confronted him. Told him all you had to do was say your done, why didn't you and he had no answer. I am pretty straight forward, I think I'm pretty strong so that he couldn't suck it up and be honest really pissed me off. No respect for a man like that......for a big man and a cop to boot, he is the biggest asshole, most lily livered, spineless, little dicked, pussy assed bitch!!!! I honestly think after that he was afraid of me because he would avoid me like I was gonna kick his ass. I just didn't get it because other than confronting him about why he didn't just tell me he moved on, I was civil and congenial towards him. But needless to say I have totally lost any respect for him and when I see him he does absolutely nothin for me. Which is good for me and made thing easy to move on. But also made me wonder and doubt myself to be forward enough to go after a man. So now I let the men hit on me and I go from there..............so that is where I will go next. Copper was the first knotch on the bedpost.

good stuff

......good stuff....gotta love that! Ok I was definitely caught up in Copper. Just looking at him made me wanna ride the pony!! If I could have had my way I would have rode him hard we both would have been wet!! Anyway when it finally happened for the most part if was fun and good. When your like me (not little skinny girl) and your laying on the bed, Copper says come here, takes ya by the ankle, pulls you across the bed to where he wants you like most people would drag a 10# bag of potatoes.......certain part of the of the ole bod go into overdrive. That is the way things were with him he was very aggressive and would flip, turn and move me around all over the place. On the bed, to the floor, to the bed, turn this way, now turn the other way, put your legs here, back to the floor and this man like to do the doggy. To bad he didnt have a dick big enough to make all that movin around worth while. For a big man he was not big in the department that would have made a difference to me. But I have to say I was so turn on by the body and the way he kissed I could deal with the lacking in the dick department..........we hooked up a couple times and then the asshole in him must of kicked in. Wow how to tell this part with out being totally bitchy and petty........

details....

Details...well I kinda sorta gonna give some good details but not gonna name names...yeah I know danm your no fun but it will be alright.

So this one I'm gonna call Copper!! You know I just don't get men...from the very beginning I told Copper no string no attachment just fun and a good time.....isn't that like every mans dream?? Hell I was seperated but wasn't finalized divorced so that is all I wanted was a good time and maybe someone to talk to. No boyfiend, god knows don't want a husband and don't want a keeper. So you would think Copper would have liked that idea (men??) Anyway the first time we hooked up I just wasnted to wrap myself around him, on him, touch him, lick, kiss, bite, taste him!!! What man don't want that?? We'll let me tell you few parts were great endings not so good and even things were disappointing.....guess I shouldn't say things but his dick....disappointing. Big men seem to have little dicks and until proven otherwise that is my oppinion and I'm stickin too it!! (Tell ya more about that later). Ok so let's talk about the good stuff for a second because that is about how long it lasted......

You know I was thinkin about all the things I would like to blog about in this blog. Where to start.....what to tell......how much to tell........so I guess I just need to move on.

It took me a while to realize after I left, got my own place and statrted going out (and I mean going out is going out partyin not dating) how much the ex controlled my personality or at least tried too. I dont have problems talking to strangers, making friends having a good time and even if I'm out on my own. So that was the first big thing I did was go out and drink at bars on my own. I have had some of the most fun starting out on my own. I'm comfortable with my own company but man company is much more fun.

So start at the beginning.......this first man......wow did I have the hots for him.....tall and built like a brick shit house (and remember the shit house part for later). I absolutely love big men and at this point I mean in stature, and this one was amazing. He is like 6'4" and about 290 lbs, he lifted weights. I wanted to absolutely wrap myself around him. So whenever I would see him at work I would oogle him unmercifully and told my coworkers that I would do him in a heartbeat or I like to say "I'd ride that pony!!!!!!"

Bless my coworker for helping me out and gave him my number and told him I wanted to talk to him. Well one thing you have to understand he is a cop in my little corner of the world and besides having the hots for large stature men I have a thing for cops, firemen, soldier........it is the uniform thing but has to be a unifornm of authority. The bug guy uniform dont get it, if you know what I mean. Much to my surprise he calls me actually called me, that in of itself just blew me away..........anyway he thinks I want to speak to him as a cop and I need help.......well I wanted help alright LOL some very personal special help!!!!! Hell I was even game for the handcuffs, thought that is what cops like and want to to have willing handcuffed woman at his mercy and at this point "willing" is my middle name......... So we talk several time and things get pretty suggestive and graphic and I just this once gonna mention file 42............let's move on ahead from there. Yes we finally "hook up" he did things to me I wish I could do again but not with him. Details how much detail.......have to think about that one and pick up there next time.........to be continued

Next Phase.....

I know u see next phase.....next phase to what? LOL the next phase right now for me is figuring out how to post blogs from my blackberry. Since this is where I'm typing from I must be having a smart moment. I know your thinking so big deal but as much as I love new tech stuff and love gadgets (like my blackberry) I have no patience in figuring things out sometimes. If it don't work like I think it should I get pissed and say fuck it.

Starting out

Alright I'm starting this blog at the encouragement of my BFF. You know who you are. I think I will start with some history about me.........what to say?? I am recently divorced, I was married for more than 25 years.......never thought I would get divorced even though when I finally did it and left I was more than ready. I did my tour of duty as a good wife and good mom. Actually I was a great mom and still am. My sons are grown and now appericate the kind of mom I am. Cant say that about my ex husband. Leaving the ex was the best thing I have ever done for myself...........because of him I have struggled with self-image, self-confidence, self-worth and everything else self. I honestly believe if I would have stayed with him I would have had a nervous break down and totally lost myself. I'm sure that sounds strange but it took me a little while for my real personality to come back out. Maybe some of the friends I have will tell a little about me (see what people think of me)

One thing I have learned since I am on my own and have experienced sex is that I am not "cold or fridged" . Just because I wasn't interested in having sex with my ex after he was talking sex or having cyber sex with women on the internet doesn't make me cold.......but it does make him an unfeeling selfish ass.